submission

I am not versed in Literature and I am not saying that I know enough about it. Literature is just something I like, something I enjoy, something that somehow brightens my world.

I have been reading Women in Love, a novel written by D H Lawrence, and on page 336 (Penguin Books) I came across a dialogue between Ursula and Hermione. Their discussion was on marriage and below are some of what they say:

• I don't want to give the sort of submission he insists on. He wants me to give myself up.
  
• He says he wants me to accept him non-emotionally, and finally--I really don't know what he means. He says he wants the demon part of himself to be mated--physically--not the human being.

This reminds me of something that happened long ago in a wedding ceremony in some Tunisian village. The bride was being taken to the groom's house. Her mum put among her belongings 2 things: a horse hoe and a dog bowl. They wanted to submit the groom to their will, and both tools symbolize their wishful thinking. STUPID BUT TRUE!

I do not know why submitting the other is on the hidden agenda of some people who want to get married. What is it that makes a partner in life a slave? Why is marriage taken as only a way to get the demon part (I am using the characters' words) in us mated? Why is getting married a sort of submission to one partner? Is it not a life and we lead it together?