All is about expectations

All is about expectations. I have to admit that one of my flaws is to place too high expectations on people. I tend to trust others, and some of those I trusted turned to be real asssholes!!!(excuse my language but I couldn' find a better word)

The problem is that I just don't want to do the opposite simply because, in my eyes, humans do count. The inner feelings that, by not trusting others, I might not do justice someone out there is something I simply cannot put up with. You may call this utter stupidity on my part but that's just the way it is, and I don't want to do otherwise.

I don't want to give examples because this relates to my life, to people who think themselves friends, people who roll up their eyes at your success, people who give you the measure-up test, people who think of you as stepping stones, people who find their own success in others' failure, people who take you for a fool simply because you are different, people who are unable to get things done without your help and then start finding faults with all you do so that they feel they are there alive and kicking!!!

I don't know if life is meant to be this way. All sucks!!! friendship sucks!!! The worth and value I have always put on people has been, much to my chagrin and disappointment, dwindling. Can anyone of you people out there explain to me why no one is really and truly happy about the success of friends and colleagues? Can anyone out there tell me why on earth a lousy 10 dollar note is more valued than frienship, is valued more than the smile you will never give to the person sitting next to you in the tube?? Can anyone out there give me a convincing answer as to why on earth are we afraid of, suspicious of others. Why on earth are some of the opinions we voice being taken personally??

I am bemoaning, I know!! I am not compalining!! I learnt not to, and I learnt it the hard way. I am not angry as some people may think. I AM PASSIONATE, and there is no wrong with being passionate.

All is about expectations!! May be because you might think I expect too much from people. Actually, I don't expect too much from people. I simply expect the BEST from people.

It's been stolen from me, for three years!! And now it's back!!

النفس تبكي

النفس تبكي على الدنيا وقد علمت * أن السعادة فيها ترك ما فيها
لا دار للمرء بعد الموت يسكنها * إلا التي كان قبل الموتِ بانيها
فإن بناها بالخير طاب مسكنه * وإن بناها بشر خاب بانيها

أموالنا لذوي الميراث نجمعها * ودورنا لخراب الدهر نبنيها
أين الملوك التي كانت مسلطنة * حتى سقاها بكأس الموت ساقيها
فكم مدائنِ في الافاق قد بنيت * أمست خراباً وأفنى الموت أهليها
لا تركنن الى الدنيا وما فيها * فالموت لا شك يُفنينا ويُفنيها

لكل نفس وان كان على وجل * من المنـِية امال تقويها
المرء يبسطها والدهر يقبضُها * والنفس تنشرها والموت يطويها

إنما المكارم أخلاق مطهرة * الدين أولها والعقل ثانيها
والعلم ثالثها والحلم رابعها * والجود خامسها والفضل سادسها
والبر سابعها والشكر ثامنها * والصبر تاسعها واللين باقيها

والنفس تعلم أني لا أصادقها * ولست أرشد إلا حين أعصيها

واعمل لدارٍ غداً رضوان خازنها * والجار أحمد والرحمن ناشيها
قصورها ذهب والمسك طينتها * والزعفران حشيش نابت فيها
أنهارها لبن محض ومن عسل * والخمر يجري رحيقاً في مجاريها
والطير تجري على الأغصان عاكفةً * تسبح الله جهراً في مغانيها
من يشتري الدار في الفردوس يعمرها * بركعة في ظلام الليل يحييها
 
شعر للإمام أمير المؤمنين علي بن أبي طالب عليه السلام